Just when I thought the anti-woke crowd couldn’t get any more ridiculous, along comes Barbie.
I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I’m taking one of my daughters as soon as she gets back from summer camp. My wife went with our younger daughter and other relatives on opening weekend, and my daughter absolutely loved it. She said she got choked up about the messages of diversity.
And that’s exactly why the anti-woke are going apeshit. Haven’t you heard that diversity is bad?
Ben Shapiro, taking a break from being a walking aneurysm, was so flustered by the movie that he recorded a 40-minute video on it. Elon Musk, taking a break from ruining Twitter and sulking about Threads, complained about the overuse of the word “patriarchy.” (I guess he wants to X it out. See what I did there?) Ted Cruz, taking a break from being a weasel who kisses the ass of a former president who called his wife ugly and accused his father of assassinating President Kennedy, called the movie “Chinese communist propaganda,” even though he hasn’t seen it yet. (Maybe he’ll go on his next trip to Cancun.) And Matt Walsh, taking a break from just being a dick, called the movie “a preachy feminist screed about taking down the patriarchy.”
This is where we are, America. Even Barbie is controversial.
Except it’s really not. The red states are actually loving Barbie, so much that a map of the country showing who has seen it confused Fox News hosts earlier this week. (I know: not really a hard job there.)
From all the hype, and from being half of the Barbieheimer weekend, I fully expected Barbie to be one of the biggest movies of the year and perhaps a cultural phenomenon, but this particular cultural phenomenon is exceeding my wildest expectations. Is it possible that Greta Gerwig, Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, and the rest of the team behind this movie have succeeded in flipping the script on the whole anti-woke crowd? They’ve certainly done more than many leaders in the Democratic Party to reveal just how ridiculous this hateful part of the far right looks when they complain.
First off, it’s a movie about a doll, alright? This is all they have to talk about? I’m sure they don’t want to talk about the economy, because they’d have to acknowledge today’s report that a presumed recession is turning around. Don’t talk about the economy, because people might look at their IRAs and see—oh no! They’re on the rise. Look—squirrel!—let’s attack Barbie!
Second, the complaints show how hateful and divisive they are. Oh no—Barbies in every color of human! Oh no—Barbies with other genders and sexual orientations! Oh no—Barbie with feminist messaging! Oh no—Barbie dares to call out gender stereotypes and suggest (gasp!) that men have had it better than women over the past several millennia.
The only men that I could imagine complaining about these issues have one thing in common with Ken: no parts underneath the clothes. They’re like incels who have gotten their hands on megaphones, and they shout loudly, but their hysteria is now backfiring on them.
It’s amazing it hasn’t backfired more quickly, considering everything we considered wholesome and harmless growing up, like Disney, is now being inspected with a magnifying glass to see if there are any traces of diversity, because diversity is bad, right? (Good luck with that, considering every Fortune 100 company has a DEI initiative, but let’s leave business alone because that’s what conservatives do, right?). Disney has Gay Days every year, so let’s tell them not to because it offends Ron DoucheSantis, the Moms for Censorship Masquerading as Liberty, and other crazies on the far right.
But never fear! Barbie has come to our rescue and revealed just how petty and lame these idiots really are. And I’m loving every minute of it. My daughter can’t come home from camp soon enough. Imma buy us matching pink shirts to celebrate!
